Virtual Employment: Kindergarten Edition

Ah, Kindergarten. A time of innocence filled with little nuggets of truth that will stick with you forever. It’s now been 5 full years of working entirely virtually. And upon reflection, the funniest thing is that much of the advice I learned in Kindergarten keeps resurfacing in new and amusing ways. 

Wear Some Pants! Whilve virtual employees always hear “I would kill to just work in my pajamas all day!” Um, I wear pants. And a shirt. And I shower. And even comb my hair. Because I’m often I’m on camera and I’m an adult.

Eat Your Lunch! When you work from home you’re almost always snacking or you constantly miss lunch. And lunch isn’t only a good thing to eat but it helps break the day up. Reminds me to get up, stretch my legs, walk around the house.

Do Your Chores! You work at home. Take advantage. Take a moment and clean off that dining room table. Put in a load of laundry. Wash your bologna sandwich plate. It take no more time than bugging a co-worker at their cube, walking to the water fountain or making copies at the printer.

Stop Squirming! Invest in a nice office chair for your home. Don’t settle exclusively for your couch or your recliner or your hard, wooden dining room chairs. You have 16 hours left in the day to sit at those. You’re still at work. Sit like it.

Be Patient!! Technology isn’t perfect. Email can stall, files can still get lost, and webcams break. Everything needs to be scheduled. Not everyone answers their phone right away. Time slows down a little bit when you work from home. Accept it and work within it.

Working from home is a mixed bag—some great things, some weird things— but as long as you rely on some age-old wisdom? You’ll be just fine.

[ ben bisbee ]

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